Forget Zombies, We Now Have Smurfs on the Loose

Fuck zombies...we have bigger fish to fry now. Apparently we have SMURFS on the loose, across the pond - and that's a threat that is a force to be reckoned with!

According to the BBC, there were reports of a man "who looks like a Smurf" behaving suspiciously in the Forest of Dean.

There have also been reports by Gloucestershire Police saying there has been several complaints of a man in a blue morph suit with blue paint on his face in Longhope. An eyewitness said that the man was seen waving at women and running up to them doing "star jumps" while looking "like a Smurf".

Officers say they are "keen" to speak to the man to establish his motives.

I am "keen" to find out what this suspicious Smurf is up to? Why is he performing this suspicious behavior in a forest? What does he want from everyone? Are "star jumps" some kind of secret Smurf spell that will make all hell break loose? I NEED TO KNOW!


via BBC

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